Change Your Thinking with CBT

POSITIVE ACTIONS Although it is not always possible to solve a problem, it is important to consider possible solutions. Sometimes we can do things to resolve the problem or lessen its severity. At other times the best that we can do is change the way we think about our circumstances.

give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

What would I tell a friend who was in this situation?

I try to be available to family members whenever I can, but I can’t always meet everyone’s needs. It’s OK to take my own needs into account at times. That doesn’t make

I try to be available to family members whenever I can, but I can’t always meet everyone’s needs. It’s OK to take my own needs into account at times. That doesn’t make me a bad person.

I wish they were more diligent, but it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to have my standards.

I wish they were more diligent, but it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to have my standards.
At times I expect too much of others.

In fact, any negative situation can be experienced as a disaster if we think about it in that way.

In fact, any negative situation can be experienced as a disaster if we think about it in that way. Awfulising about life situations can make us feel intensely anxious, frustrated, guilty,

In fact, any negative situation can be experienced as a disaster if we think about it in that way. Awfulising about life situations can make us feel intensely anxious, frustrated, guilty, embarrassed, depressed or resentful.

Most people acknowledge that the vast majority of the things that upset them fall somewhere between 0 and 20 on an ‘awfulness’ scale.

The trouble is that when we awfulise, we experience situations as though they really are totally awful—around 100 on the awfulness scale.

Will this matter in five years’ time? ➤  On an awfulness scale of 0 to 100, how bad is this? ➤  [Think of someone you know who is a very positive person.] How would they perceive this situation?

Will this matter in five years’ time? ➤  On an awfulness scale of 0 to 100, how bad is this? ➤  [Think of someone you know who is a very positive person.] How would they perceive this situation? ➤  Is this within my control? What can I do about it? ➤  Is there anything good about this situation? What can I be grateful for? ➤  What can I learn from this experience? ➤  What is the worst that can happen? Best that can happen? Most likely to happen? SOCRATIC QUESTIONING Some negative thoughts are reasonably easy to challenge, and simply recognising that our thinking is unrealistic can help us to feel better. In other situations it is helpful to question the validity of our thoughts. Socratic questioning comes from the Greek philosopher Socrates, who made a habit of asking provocative questions to challenge people’s assumptions about the world. The aim of Socratic questioning is to hold our thoughts up to logical scrutiny,

Will this matter in five years’ time? ➤  On an awfulness scale of 0 to 100, how bad is this? ➤  [Think of someone you know who is a very positive person.] How would they perceive this situation? ➤  Is this within my control? What can I do about it? ➤  Is there anything good about this situation? What can I be grateful for? ➤  What can I learn from this experience? ➤  What is the worst that can happen? Best that can happen? Most likely to happen?

Socratic questioning comes from the Greek philosopher Socrates, who made a habit of asking provocative questions to challenge people’s assumptions about the world.

For instance, we may be able to see that our

we may be able to see that our thinking is irrational, but on a ‘gut’ level it feels true. This is where behavioural disputing can be helpful.

when we behave coldly or rudely towards someone that we dislike, we reinforce the belief that they are a bad person and deserve our contempt. When we avoid confronting an unpleasant task, we reinforce the belief that it is a loathsome task.

when we behave coldly or rudely towards someone that we dislike, we reinforce the belief that they are a bad person and deserve our contempt. When we avoid confronting an unpleasant task, we reinforce the belief that it is a loathsome task. When we behave unassertively with our friends, we reinforce the belief that we are not as good as them. When we avoid doing things that involve the possibility of failure, we reinforce the belief that failure would be unbearable