Change Your Thinking with CBT

Will this matter in five years’ time? ➤  On an awfulness scale of 0 to 100, how bad is this? ➤  [Think of someone you know who is a very positive person.] How would they perceive this situation? ➤  Is this within my control? What can I do about it? ➤  Is there anything good about this situation? What can I be grateful for? ➤  What can I learn from this experience? ➤  What is the worst that can happen? Best that can happen? Most likely to happen? SOCRATIC QUESTIONING Some negative thoughts are reasonably easy to challenge, and simply recognising that our thinking is unrealistic can help us to feel better. In other situations it is helpful to question the validity of our thoughts. Socratic questioning comes from the Greek philosopher Socrates, who made a habit of asking provocative questions to challenge people’s assumptions about the world. The aim of Socratic questioning is to hold our thoughts up to logical scrutiny,

For instance, we may be able to see that our

we may be able to see that our thinking is irrational, but on a ‘gut’ level it feels true. This is where behavioural disputing can be helpful.

when we behave coldly or rudely towards someone that we dislike, we reinforce the belief that they are a bad person and deserve our contempt. When we avoid confronting an unpleasant task, we reinforce the belief that it is a loathsome task. When we behave unassertively with our friends, we reinforce the belief that we are not as good as them. When we avoid doing things that involve the possibility of failure, we reinforce the belief that failure would be unbearable

behavioural experiments because by changing our behaviour we create the opportunity to discover the consequences. The aim of the experiment is to find out whether or not our assumptions are correct.

If, on the other hand, the negative outcomes we had expected do not eventuate, we come to realise that our perceptions are wrong. Behavioural disputing is one of the most powerful ways of challenging negative beliefs because we learn experientially.

Behavioural disputing is a particularly useful tool for challenging irrational fears, as directly confronting the things we fear helps us to perceive on a deeper level that they are not dangerous after all

So far we have looked at disputing our cognitions logically, by directly challenging the unhelpful aspects of our thinking, and behaviourally, by taking actions that challenge unrealistic cognitions. A third method of disputing is goal-focused thinking.

Does thinking or behaving this way help me to feel good or to achieve my goals?

Does telling myself that my work has to be perfect help me to get things finished on time?

Does staying angry with my partner help us to be happy and to have a good relationship?

Does demanding that others should have the same values that I do help me to get on with people?

Goal-focused thinking can be used in many situations, but it is particularly useful when we feel angry, resentful or frustrated

Getting irritated by their behaviour is only punishing me

Focusing on his faults makes me bitter and wastes my energy. It also makes coming to the gym less enjoyable.

I don’t have to like him, but I don’t have to hate him or focus on his flaws.

I’m here now. Focusing on the prices is not going to make the meal any cheaper—it’s just going to ruin the evening for me. I choose to let this go now, and just have a good time.

Logical disputing involves identifying the irrational aspects of our thinking, labelling their faulty aspects and coming up with more realistic and balanced ways of perceiving our situations.

Cognitions can also be challenged via Socratic questioning. This involves putting our thoughts under logical scrutiny by asking specific challenging questions.

Some negative assumptions and beliefs are better challenged using behavioural disputing. This involves changing our behaviours and observing the outcomes. This method is particularly powerful because we often learn experientially that our thinking is incorrect.