Change Your Thinking with CBT

Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the willingness to act, in spite of the fear. M. SCOTT PECK, THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

INGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESS ➤  a belief that change is possible; ➤  self-efficacy—the belief in our ability to succeed; ➤ clearly defined goals; ➤ a plan of action; and ➤  a willingness to confront the obstacles that will arise.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right. HENRY FORD

Perfectionist thinking can cause us to focus on our failures and faults, while ignoring our strengths, abilities and past successes.

it is much better to focus on our successes, strengths and achievements than to think about our shortcomings and failures.

No matter how well you do, it only becomes an accomplishment when you tell yourself that you did well. BOB MONTGOMERY, THE TRUTH ABOUT SUCCESS AND MOTIVATION

Now visualise your new goal. Picture yourself doing things that you need to do in order to achieve the goal, as well as the final outcome. Make the imagery as vivid as possible and bring it to mind several times a day.

The trouble with mistakes or failures is not the event itself but the negative beliefs that they may generate—‘I’ve failed in the past, so I’ll fail again.’ Repeated failures are discouraging because they reduce our expectations of future success.

Although perfectionism is a common trait of many ambitious people, those who excel are rarely perfectionists. More often they are people who set themselves goals, aim for excellence but remain flexible enough to accept mistakes and setbacks as part of the process.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ALBERT EINSTEIN

He defines success as having ‘done your personal best at this stage, given your genes, past experiences and present situation’.

When we are able to accept that we can only do our best, given our available resources, we can be kinder to ourselves and feel successful more often.

Telling ourselves ‘I didn’t do as much as I had planned but I did make some progress’ helps to reinforce the idea of success and keeps us feeling optimistic.

Just as it is useful to identify the obstacles to achieving our greater goals, it is also useful to reflect on the obstacles that stop us from achieving our daily goals.

One of the biggest obstacles to getting what we want is losing sight of our goals over time. We get distracted. We forget. We stop trying. We give up.

Persistence is a secret. Successful people know the secret— they realise that it is the main ingredient in winning at anything. ANDREW MATTHEWS, BEING HAPPY

Whether or not we succeed depends largely on our willingness to persist— to continue working towards our goals for as long as it takes to get there.

In addition, writing and displaying goal prompts helps us to stay on track. A goal prompt is a word or short phrase that represents our goal and serves as a reminder of the things we want to achieve. For instance, the word ‘vitality’ may remind us of our decision to build up our fitness; ‘lighten up!’ may remind us of our plan to take things a little less seriously;

As imagery has stronger links to our emotions than words, visualising can make us feel excited about our goal, and helps to keep it at the front of our mind.

‘If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.’