Change Your Thinking with CBT

Because we expect our lives to be easy, many of us have not learned to accept the difficult, frustrating or unpleasant situations that are an unavoidable part of life.

Because we expect our lives to be easy, many of us have not learned to accept the difficult, frustrating or unpleasant situations that are an unavoidable part of life. We become overly upset when things go wrong or when we are confronted with hassles or inconveniences. We awfulise and complain, and we become physically aroused.

No one enjoys it when things go wrong, especially when several things go wrong at once. The reality is, however, that hassles are an unavoidable part of life. The challenge is to accept this simple truth, while seeking solutions whenever possible.

in situations where there is nothing that we can do, our best strategy is to practise acceptance, instead of ‘demanding’ that problems should not exist.

Low frustration tolerance is associated with rigid, inflexible thinking. We internally demand that things should go our way (shoulds) and believe that unless they do, the situation is intolerable (black-and-white thinking).

Hassles are a normal part of life. Things go wrong for everybody at times.

I wish people always did the right thing, but that is not realistic.

This is inconvenient, but it’s not a disaster. On the ‘awfulness’ scale it only rates five per cent. It’s not going to matter in five years’ time.

Hassles are a normal part of life. ➤  Where is it written that things should always go smoothly? ➤  I can’t prevent hassles, but I can choose not to upset myself when they arise. ➤  Will this matter in five years’ time? Don’t sweat the small stuff.

There is no law that says that good actions are always rewarded. Bad things can happen even when you’re doing something good. Things go wrong for everybody at times. Frustrations are a normal part of life.

I wish that they were more responsible and helpful, but they are behaving like normal boys of their age.
If I want them to help, I need to use some strategies to motivate them.

unnecessary distress because we become overly upset when confronted with situations that don’t meet our needs. LFT also has another disadvantage—it often gives rise to procrastination and self-defeating behaviours.

whatever we choose to do, we increase our chances of being happy when our choices are based on rational, considered judgements rather than inertia or LFT.

Ironically, once we stop trying to run away from discomfort, we discover that the object we are running away from is really not that bad.

As we increase our tolerance for frustration, we get more things done, and situations that would normally upset us no longer matter.

Look for the fun and enjoyment—not merely the pain and problems—of doing difficult things that are in your best interest.

even when things take extra time, the consequences are insignificant. They just take a little longer—that’s all.

When people ask me how to do something, I remind them that they already know how; they are really asking, ‘What’s the easy way?’ On planet Earth, ‘easy’ is hard to find. Any accomplishment requires effort, courage, and will … DAN MILLMAN, NO ORDINARY MOMENTS

it happens because all the factors that were necessary for those events to occur were present at that time.

Everything we say and do, including those things that turn out to have negative consequences, happen because all of the factors that were necessary for them to occur were present at that time.