Change Your Thinking with CBT

Strong, supportive relationships are one of the best safeguards against depression.

is helpful to talk to the people in our lives and explain our struggle.

is helpful to talk to the people in our lives and explain our struggle. Doing so will relieve the pressure to pretend, and may lead to a more empathic response.

is helpful to talk to the people in our lives and explain our struggle. Doing so will relieve the pressure to pretend, and may lead to a more empathic response. It is particularly important to communicate with the people we are closest to—our family members and close friends.

The problem with getting advice is that other people’s solutions may not be right for us—we are all different.

The problem with getting advice is that other people’s solutions may not be right for us—we are all different. Also, it is easy to give advice when you don’t have to take it yourself.

Receiving suggestions and brainstorming strategies can be useful, as long as we don’t feel pressured or told what to

Receiving suggestions and brainstorming strategies can be useful, as long as we don’t feel pressured or told what to do.

let them know that they cannot solve your problems (although you might value some suggestions) as only you can work out what is right for you.

Talking too much and for too long about our problems can sometimes drive people away.

If you are able to focus on the activity itself and take an interest in the people around you, this will also make you feel better.

Activities that involve active participation (rather than mere observation) and some interaction with other people are usually the most protective.

Studies have found that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication among people with mild to moderate depression.

Regular exercise also increases our energy levels in the longer term, which gives us greater reserves with which to manage stress.

One of the challenges of being human is to confront and solve problems. Our ability to solve problems affects our sense of control and quality of life. When we see our problems as a challenge, we feel motivated to look for solutions. The very act of contemplating, planning and implementing a strategy makes us feel good and increases our perception of control. This is important, as it is the feeling of not being in control that frequently creates stress. Feeling helpless drains our energy and makes us miserable.

But sometimes we find ourselves in situations where there is nothing we can do to fix or modify a problem. In those circumstances,

But sometimes we find ourselves in situations where there is nothing we can do to fix or modify a problem. In those circumstances, our challenge is to practise acceptance

the secret is to see problems as a challenge—a puzzle to be solved. When you start with the presumption that solutions exist, you are more likely to find them.

An exercise that I occasionally do in workshops is to ask participants to come up with 50 possible uses for a paper clip. Sounds impossible at first, but when I reassure people that our record is 102, the creative juices start to flow. After some time, I ask participants to join up with four other people and continue brainstorming in groups. At this stage, the ideas come flooding in. Not only can we get more ideas from other people, but there is a synergy that happens when we bounce ideas off others. The list of ideas grows and grows.

when we believe that solutions exist, we are more willing to look for them, and therefore are more likely to find them.