Change Your Thinking with CBT

As soon as you notice the physical symptoms that signal the start of acute anger, mentally label the experience ‘amygdala hijack’. Turn your attention inwards and observe what is happening inside your body. You may even visualise your amygdala pulsating and firing, sending ‘high alert’ signals to every part of your body.

The very act of labelling and observing your internal state moves your attention from threat-focused information (the object of your anger) to your own cognitive processes. Sometimes this can reduce reactivity and enable parts of the prefrontal cortex to re-engage.

Take in a few slow, deep breaths.

Physically remove yourself from the situation. Depending on the circumstances, you may go outside, go for a walk or go home. In a work environment or situation where leaving is not possible, walk away for just a few minutes by going to the bathroom or to another room and take some more breaths.

If possible do some exercise: walk, run up and down the fire escape stairs, clean the house, hit a pillow or do workout at the gym.

When emotions are ‘hot’, logical disputing is extremely difficult as our amygdala dominates our responses.

Periods of intense unpleasant emotion (like anger, fear, frustration, guilt or impatience) can provide a good opportunity to practise mindfulness.

Periods of intense unpleasant emotion (like anger, fear, frustration, guilt or impatience) can provide a good opportunity to practise mindfulness. During this process our aim is to be present with current experience, observing with curiosity and without judgement (see Chapter 12).

To engage mindfully during an episode of anger turn your attention inwards and notice what is happening for you in this moment.

Notice the physical sensations in your body, including changes in muscle tension, breathing and heart rate. You may observe the desire to lash out and punish—if so, observe the impulse with curiosity.

Mindful attention to our thoughts, emotions, body sensations and behaviours helps us to step back and observe our inner experiences with curiosity and without judgement.

The practice of observing our own responses can produce a subtle shift in cognitive processes, which reduces our emotional temperature.

Watching thoughts pop into our mind, labelling them (e.g. ‘That’s my angry ruminations again’), and acknowledging that they are just thoughts can help to change the way we relate to them.

By mindfully observing our ruminations without engaging with them or elaborating on their contents, we create a space from which their ‘batteries’ can run down.

Ask yourself, ‘What are my goals here?’

To have happy, well-adjusted children.

To have happy, well-adjusted children. ➤  To have a good relationship with my partner.

➤ To get on with people. ➤ To have happy, well-adjusted children. ➤  To have a good relationship with my partner.

➤ To get on with people. ➤ To have happy, well-adjusted children. ➤  To have a good relationship with my partner. ➤  To be successful in my career. ➤ To avoid unnecessary stress. ➤ To enjoy the evening. ➤ To look after my health. Whatever

➤ To get on with people. ➤ To have happy, well-adjusted children. ➤  To have a good relationship with my partner. ➤  To be successful in my career. ➤ To avoid unnecessary stress. ➤ To enjoy the evening. ➤ To look after my health.