How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

There is value to giving a child the experience that he can handle frustration, with your sympathy and support.

TOOL #3: Put into Words What Kids Want to Say

I always thought if you acknowledge what a child wants, you have to give it to him or he’ll have a fit. This was a real eye opener for me. Repeat After Me Elliot’s speech is still pretty hard to understand.

TOOL #4: Adjust Expectations: Manage the Environment Instead of the Child

Don’t expect new skills to be used consistently.

TOOL #5: Use Alternatives to the Spoken Word: Write a Note, Use a Gesture, Draw a Picture, Sing

TOOL #6: Tell Them What They Can Do, Instead of What They Can’t

When you tell a child what not to do, you may be confusing him. You can’t assume that he’ll automatically know what to do.

The next time you need to stop your child, try redirecting him instead.

TOOL #7: Be Playful!

We need to meet basic needs before any communication tools will work for us.

if there’s a carrot stuck in your throat you need air before you need empathy.

The first two basics of everyday parenting are food and sleep.

One of these is the biological need for recovery time.

One of the best things we can do for children in times of stress is to give them time to recover from the physical changes of anger, fear, and frustration. Don’t expect a child to be able to “snap out of it” immediately.

And don’t forget that adults need recovery time, too. Give it to yourself if you can. Instead of trying to force yourself to act calm when you’re feeling anything but, let children know, “I’m still very upset! I need some time to feel better. I’ll be able to help you in a few minutes.”

the need not to be overwhelmed.

match our expectations to the child’s stage of development and level of experience.

Am I expecting my child to behave in a way that is beyond his current level of ability?

Serve your child an empty plate!