How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
by Joanna Faber · 280 highlights
Just be careful that the one word you use is a noun, not a verb. A verb is more likely to sound like a command. Sit! Come! Quiet! Better for dog
Just be careful that the one word you use is a noun, not a verb. A verb is more likely to sound like a command. Sit! Come! Quiet! Better for dog training than for child rearing. I asked the
Just be careful that the one word you use is a noun, not a verb. A verb is more likely to sound like a command. Sit! Come! Quiet! Better for dog training than for child rearing.
Toothbrushing gesture. Finger to lips gesture. Handwashing gesture.
TOOL #6: Describe What You See
Appreciate progress before describing what’s left to do.
As you may have noticed in the last example, when you describe what you see, it helps to describe the positive instead of focusing on the negative.
As you may have noticed in the last example, when you describe what you see, it helps to describe the positive instead of focusing on the negative. Describe the progress that you see before pointing out what’s left to be done.
TOOL #7: Describe How You Feel
It can be helpful for a child to know what another person is feeling. Kids need to know when their parents or teachers are frightened, frustrated, or angry.
I told him, “You’re getting good at putting your angry feelings into words instead of hitting.
I told him, “You’re getting good at putting your angry feelings into words instead of hitting. That’s not easy to do.”
When expressing anger or frustration, use the word I, avoid the word you.
When expressing annoyance, irritation, or anger, it’s important to banish the word you.
Express strong anger sparingly. It can feel like an attack.
Save your outrage for those times when it is unavoidable. Your kid smacked you in the nose, covered the cat in molasses, flushed your wedding ring down the toilet. Fury is not a useful everyday seasoning for a relationship!
TOOL #8: Write a Note
TOOL #9: Take Action Without Insult
I offered various options: the 6:00 p.m. slot, the 6:15 slot, and the 6:30 slot.
“I’m putting the bike away for now. You’re in no mood to have your head squeezed by a helmet,