How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
by Joanna Faber · 280 highlights
You know, being punctual is a life skill. And it’s a skill you better learn if you want to be successful in life.
If you do this, I’ll do that. The problem with a threat is that it can come awfully close to sounding like a dare.
TOOL #1: Be Playful
make an inanimate object talk.
turn a boring task into a challenge or a game.
Instead of telling a classroom of preschoolers to sit still and be quiet, have them freeze like statues.
Instead of telling a classroom of preschoolers to sit still and be quiet, have them freeze like statues. Tell them they’re “as still as an iceberg,” or “as quiet as a little mouse hiding in the grass from a cat.”
tired!” In my experience, if
if you can muster up a little playfulness, it actually takes less energy than having to deal with all the whining and resistance you get from a direct order.
You’re also teaching kids how to turn a tedious task into a pleasant activity.
TOOL #2: Offer a Choice
Each of these statements says to your child, “I see you as a person who can make decisions about your own life.” And every time your child makes a small decision, she’s getting valuable practice for some of the bigger decisions she’ll be making down the road.
Don’t turn a choice into a threat.
When giving a choice, it’s important that both options are pleasant!
TOOL #3: Put the Child in Charge
TOOL #4: Give Information
TOOL #5: Say It with a Word (or a Gesture)
When you say ‘chairs!’ you’re giving us the benefit of the doubt. You assume that if you just point out the problem, we’ll be glad to fix it. The other way is disrespectful. You’re implying that we’re lazy, thoughtless people.”
What happens when your four-year-old hears you say, “Apple core”? She has to think. Apple core? What about an apple core? Oh, I left it on the couch. I guess I should put it in the garbage. The child tells herself what to do. She doesn’t feel bossed around.
Just be careful that the one word you use is a noun, not a verb. A verb is more likely to sound like a command.