People Skills for Analytical Thinkers: Boost Your Communication and Advance Your Career - and Life

you will find this challenging. If that’s the case, asking for feedback on a specific task can make the step smaller.

Sitting down still felt counterproductive. Trying to focus on my breath seemed stupid.

Meditation helps me to assess when my emotional elephant is being lazy and when my elephant has a valuable message to share.

we can change our Joker algorithms in three steps: Catch yourself. Pause. Experiment with different behavior. Repeat and monitor the results.

The first step is to catch yourself by recognizing that this is a situation that triggered your Joker algorithm in the past.

This step is crucial because when you let your algorithm respond automatically, it’s likely that you’ll get the same negative results.

When you recognize the situation, stop. Don’t move; keep your mouth shut. Try to breath slowly and deliberately for at least three cycles of inhalation and exhalation.

Instead of giving an auto-response, ask yourself “How do I feel?”

Being an analytical person who used to disregard feelings, I found this a daunting task. I thought, “What do you mean, how do I feel? I don’t know. I guess I don’t feel much.”

When you take the time to ask yourself such questions, you train yourself to read your emotions.

Over time, you learn to recognize which kind of physical discomfort comes with each type of emotion.

“Is this my emotional elephant pushing for short-term comfort? Or is it trying to tell me something valuable this time?”

The pause gives you time to look at the complete situation, involving both your rational and emotional brain.

The pause helps you connect with your feelings. Remember, every now and then your emotional elephant tells you something important.

The pause breaks your pattern and gives you time to implement a new type of behavior.

This pause may feel uncomfortable at first. Why is the silence so uncomfortable?

Now that you’ve broken your old pattern, it’s time to build a new one.

on average it takes 66 days to build a new habit.

This change requires persistence, but the results are rewarding.

you have the power to correct yourself if you find yourself falling into your old pattern.