Indistractable

“The body gets what the body needs.” That subtle mind-set shift took the pressure off by no longer making sleep a requirement. My job was to provide my body with the proper time and place to rest—what happened next was out of my control.

when it comes to our time, we should stop worrying about outcomes we can’t control and instead focus on the inputs we can.

The one thing we control is the time we put into a task.

We tend to think we can solve our distraction problems by trying to get more done each minute, but more often the real problem is not giving ourselves time to do what we say we will. By timeboxing “you” time and faithfully following through, we keep the promises we make to ourselves.

•    Schedule time for yourself first. You are at the center of the three life domains. Without allocating time for yourself, the other two domains suffer.

•    Show up when you say you will. You can’t always control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task.

One of my most important values is to be a caring, involved, and fun dad.

Much like I schedule time for a business meeting or time for myself, I block out time on my schedule to be with her.

Julie couldn’t tell me how I could help because she already had a dozen things on her mind. She wanted me to take initiative, to jump in and start helping out. But I didn’t know how. I had no idea, so I’d either stand there confused or slink off to do something else.

“A growing body of research in family and clinical studies demonstrates that spousal equality promotes marital success and that inequality undermines it.”

The people we love most should not be content getting whatever time is left over. Everyone benefits when we hold time on our schedule to live up to our values and do our share.

In fact, a lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health.

good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

Socially disconnected people are, according to Waldinger, “less happy; their health declines earlier in midlife; their brain functioning declines sooner; [and] they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.” Waldinger warned, “It’s not just the number of friends you have . . . It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”

satisfying friendships need three things: “somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy.”

Finding someone to talk to, depend on, and enjoy often comes naturally when we’re young, but as we grow into adulthood, the model for how to maintain friendships is less clear. We graduate and go our separate ways, pursuing careers and starting new lives miles apart from our best friends.

Suddenly work obligations and ambitions take priority over having beers with buddies. If children enter the picture, exhilarating nights on the town become exhausted nights on the couch.

Unfortunately, the less time we invest in people, the easier it is to make do without them, until one day it is too awkward to reconnect.

The time we spend with our friends isn’t just pleasurable—it’s an investment in our future health and well-being.

•    The people you love deserve more than getting whatever time is left over.