Happy: Finding joy in every day and letting go of perfect

If it’s coming from a place where you know inner happiness lies and can be achieved at the end of it, then run with it. If the WANT is coming from a place of fear and low self-esteem, and is making you feel rubbish, then it’s time to ditch that aim and work out what really makes you tick.

Going out at night, like I did in my twenties, has fallen off the priority ladder altogether. I haven’t the energy for it. Or, should I say, I have CHOSEN not to give the energy I have to it. This may change again later in my life but for now it feels like the best way of preserving energy for my priorities.

Growing up, I chased excitement and adventure and pushed everything else aside. I had little respect or regard for rest or peace,

My husband and I have weird schedules and little routine which makes planning anything tricky, but we do try to have the odd date night where we’ll get a babysitter. If we can’t even manage this, we just try to make time to talk. To sit, without phones or screens, and just talk. It’s always interesting to just chat and have fun rather than talk about who has washed the school uniforms and packed lunches. Every couple has good times and bad times but we feel it’s important for us, and our kids, that we remain strong by making little moments like this count.

Our days are short but there is usually some room for movement if you’re willing to sacrifice a little of something else.

Our days are short but there is usually some room for movement if you’re willing to sacrifice a little of something else. Rest and stopping has to take a priority where it can.

You can be in the busiest of environments but still feel you’re in a calm place by just stopping and observing the scene. See others, listen to the sounds around you, feel the quality of air, sense the clothes on your skin, be aware of your breath leaving each nostril. Stopping without actually stopping just requires a bit of awareness.

Extracting ourselves from our everyday routines and mental hamster wheel gives us space to think outside the box and perhaps be a little courageous.

It’s just about getting used to allowing yourself to BE and not DO.

It’s all about finding those short periods of time where you allow yourself space to breathe, time to heal, recharge and be still.

having the discipline to wait for things is a huge gift as the end result always feels better.

Balance: an equation of patience, self confidence and discipline. We’ll naturally sway off it at times, but if we know the route back, we’ll be okay.

Don’t compare your wants or your time with other people’s. Do what you want to do and make peace with FOMO.

Understand your needs and breaking points and be aware of them.

Try to be patient.

It’s inevitable that we will all make mistakes and experience things that we wish we hadn’t. These good and bad memories will always live and breathe in our minds but it’s how much we let them affect our everyday lives that is important.

How do we stop bad memories from affecting our experience of TODAY? I think the answer lies in simplicity. One deep breath, one moment where you notice how things feel, smell and look around you, one positive thought to combat the negative story and one second where you remember that right now, in this moment, everything is just fine.

You may achieve great success, own a home, complete a degree, get a job promotion – but still not feel any happier inside.

What we do doesn’t make us who we are: it’s very much how you do it, and the enjoyment you get from it daily.

Again, it’s about taking that brief moment to look around you, smell the coffee in the cup next to you, feel the clothes against your skin, look out of the window at the birds flying in the sky and be in the NOW.