Leaders Eat Last

it is the things we have in common with people that attract us to each other and are the basis of friendship.

Customers will never love a company until the employees love it first.

And when we are unable to keep our desire for those dopamine bursts in check, they become addictions. We reach a point where a chemical designed to help keep us alive actually rewards us for engaging in behaviors that can harm us.

Many of those children of the 1930s and 1940s, for example, who grew up with the poverty of the Great Depression and rationing of World War II, developed lifelong tendencies toward frugality and conservation. For some, this showed up as a need to squeeze every last bit of toothpaste out of the tube; for others it was coupon clipping. But the shared pattern seems to have the same source—they all experienced some degree of economic hardship at a formative time in their lives.

Many employers complain that their Millennial employees, for example, are poor communicators, lack the instinct to be proactive, cannot handle critical feedback, are impatient, are unable to commit, and the big one: have a sense of entitlement.

There seems to be a disproportionately high number of employers who feel that their entry-level Millennial employees are making unreasonable demands. Across companies big and small, employers share tales not just about requests for unjustified pay increases, but also things like premature promotions, customized schedules and open access to senior executives.

When they are accused of lacking work ethic, many Millennials will respond that their bosses don’t share their conception of time as it relates to productivity. They don’t need to work specific hours in the office—technology allows them to work remotely whenever they feel like it. Unlike older generations who are missing out on life because they are chained to their desks, Millennials have found a way to do both. And why shouldn’t they be entitled? Why shouldn’t they expect to earn more, have greater responsibility and advance up the ranks quickly? Almost everyone agrees that they are, generally speaking, more connected and technologically savvy than their Boomer bosses. Millennials are also poised to be the most educated generation in history.

hear just as many complaints from Millennials about their frustration with their employers. They express dismay that their bosses don’t understand them or their lifestyles, give them enough feedback, take full advantage of their skills or show enough appreciation for their work. They would also like the companies they work for to have a greater sense of purpose and offer them a work environment in which they can find fulfillment and feel like they are making an impact in the world.

positively affirming kids’ talents and encouraging their attempts is indeed good for them. But that doesn’t mean that telling our kids they are great at everything is necessarily better.

positively affirming kids’ talents and encouraging their attempts is indeed good for them. But that doesn’t mean that telling our kids they are great at everything is necessarily better. The use and overuse of extrinsic rewards follow the same logic. Giving out awards is good. Giving out awards to everyone who

positively affirming kids’ talents and encouraging their attempts is indeed good for them. But that doesn’t mean that telling our kids they are great at everything is necessarily better. The use and overuse of extrinsic rewards follow the same logic. Giving out awards is good. Giving out awards to everyone who participates is not necessarily better.

children see the reward as the only reason for doing something, studies show that once the reward is gone, they will have even less interest in the activity than they did when they started.

children see the reward as the only reason for doing something, studies show that once the reward is gone, they will have even less interest in the activity than they did when they started. This is the same reason why extrinsic, dopamine-based rewards systems, like hit-the-goal-get-bonus, when used as the primary means of incentivizing behavior in a work environment, can’t and don’t breed trust, loyalty or commitment.

They also provide some context for why so many Millennials in the workplace seem to struggle with criticism.

They also provide some context for why so many Millennials in the workplace seem to struggle with criticism. A group raised to think they are special, used to having their parents guide, support and intervene at any sign of struggle or setback, and accustomed to regular praise and rewards find few of those things in corporate culture. At work they are not treated as special. Their parents can’t get them a promotion. Their bosses do not shower them with praise and aren’t always there to guide them or explain everything. In other words, work isn’t giving them the very things upon which their self-esteem is built. Fully aware that their bosses aren’t necessarily giving them what they need, many Millennials are leaning on their connectedness to help cope or vent about their experiences. They text with friends, they take little breaks to see what others are up to on Instagram or Snapchat while finding things they can share about what they are doing. However, their “advanced technological skills” may only be making things worse.

They also provide some context for why so many Millennials in the workplace seem to struggle with criticism. A group raised to think they are special, used to having their parents guide, support and intervene at any sign of struggle or setback, and accustomed to regular praise and rewards find few of those things in corporate culture.

They also provide some context for why so many Millennials in the workplace seem to struggle with criticism. A group raised to think they are special, used to having their parents guide, support and intervene at any sign of struggle or setback, and accustomed to regular praise and rewards find few of those things in corporate culture. At work they are not treated as special. Their parents can’t get them a promotion. Their bosses do not shower them with praise and aren’t always there to guide them or explain everything. In other words, work isn’t giving them the very things upon which their self-esteem is built.

So, if we take the life-and-death part away, why would we think that we can do our work, check our phones, write a paragraph, send a text, write another paragraph, send another text, without the same damage to our ability to concentrate?

According to brain researchers, true multitasking does not actually exist. Rather, what we are doing is “mental juggling” or “rapid toggling between tasks.”

Multitasking, it turns out, does not make us faster or more efficient. It actually slows us down.