Leaders Eat Last

taking responsibility for one’s actions must happen at the time you perform your actions, not at the time you get caught.”

When we suspect the leaders of a company are saying things to make themselves or the company look better than they are or to avoid humiliation or accountability, our trust in them falters.

Leadership comes from telling us not what we want to hear, but rather what we need to hear. To be a true leader, to engender deep trust and loyalty, starts with telling the truth.

We do not trust someone after they tell us just one thing, even if it is the truth. Trust evolves once we have enough evidence to satisfy our brain that a person or an organization is, indeed, an honest broker.

The most common display of a lack of integrity in the business world is when a leader of an organization says what others want to hear and not the truth.

Integrity is not about being honest when we agree with each other; it is also about being honest when we disagree or, even more important, when we make mistakes or missteps.

Building trust requires nothing more than telling the truth.

Every single one of us should look at our managers or the leaders of the companies we work for and ask ourselves, “Would I want to be in a foxhole with you?”

We expect that both people and companies will make mistakes and dumb choices. We’re perfectly at peace with that. Making all the right decisions is not what engenders trust between people or between people and organizations. Being honest does. And being honest is exactly what Bank of America did not do when they decided to squash the idea of adding the fee. Bank of America first discussed the fee idea exclusively within business circles, and at the time, they were clear and direct about their motivations and intentions. They, among other banks, were very vocal in their opposition to the Dodd-Frank Act, which put limits on how banks could charge fees following the financial crisis. “The economics of offering a debit card have changed with recent regulations,” a Bank of America spokeswoman said. It was widely reported and undisputed what these new fees were designed to do: to

All leaders, in order to truly lead, need to walk the halls and spend time with the people they serve,

If members of Congress don’t spend any time together, if they don’t get to know each other and the people they represent, the flow of the social chemicals is limited and the drive to raise money and win elections makes dopamine their primary incentive.

There is something about getting together out of context that makes us more open to getting to know someone.

it is the things we have in common with people that attract us to each other and are the basis of friendship.

Customers will never love a company until the employees love it first.

And when we are unable to keep our desire for those dopamine bursts in check, they become addictions. We reach a point where a chemical designed to help keep us alive actually rewards us for engaging in behaviors that can harm us.

Many of those children of the 1930s and 1940s, for example, who grew up with the poverty of the Great Depression and rationing of World War II, developed lifelong tendencies toward frugality and conservation. For some, this showed up as a need to squeeze every last bit of toothpaste out of the tube; for others it was coupon clipping. But the shared pattern seems to have the same source—they all experienced some degree of economic hardship at a formative time in their lives.

Many employers complain that their Millennial employees, for example, are poor communicators, lack the instinct to be proactive, cannot handle critical feedback, are impatient, are unable to commit, and the big one: have a sense of entitlement.

There seems to be a disproportionately high number of employers who feel that their entry-level Millennial employees are making unreasonable demands. Across companies big and small, employers share tales not just about requests for unjustified pay increases, but also things like premature promotions, customized schedules and open access to senior executives.

When they are accused of lacking work ethic, many Millennials will respond that their bosses don’t share their conception of time as it relates to productivity. They don’t need to work specific hours in the office—technology allows them to work remotely whenever they feel like it. Unlike older generations who are missing out on life because they are chained to their desks, Millennials have found a way to do both. And why shouldn’t they be entitled? Why shouldn’t they expect to earn more, have greater responsibility and advance up the ranks quickly? Almost everyone agrees that they are, generally speaking, more connected and technologically savvy than their Boomer bosses. Millennials are also poised to be the most educated generation in history.

hear just as many complaints from Millennials about their frustration with their employers. They express dismay that their bosses don’t understand them or their lifestyles, give them enough feedback, take full advantage of their skills or show enough appreciation for their work. They would also like the companies they work for to have a greater sense of purpose and offer them a work environment in which they can find fulfillment and feel like they are making an impact in the world.