How To Be A Stoic

beware of brick walls. We need to recognize them when we hit them; even better is to see them coming before we hit them hard. The trick here, according to Larry, is to know when to quit: neither a minute too soon nor a minute too late. Avoiding brick walls requires not only that we keep learning about our abilities throughout life, but also that we determine that what looks like a brick wall really is one.

The problem, he adds, is that we seem to have trouble figuring out which brick walls are worth worrying about and which ones we should try to tear down.

Part of depression is fixating on failures in the past, ruminating continually on past events or circumstances, and even drawing a kind of negative confidence from them. This type of thinking is antithetical to good outcomes at the present time, at least the vast majority of the time. It causes failure in the present, building a feedback loop whose hunger cannot be easily filled. One failure builds atop another, and now another.”

Things under our control include our decisions and behaviors; things not under our control include the circumstances we find ourselves in, as well as other people’s thoughts and actions.

with mindful repetition that we change our own behaviors and even our internal feelings

Well, is it true? At one time in my life it was. In which case, why get offended?

What does it even mean to feel insulted by a fact?

“Stand by a stone11 and slander it: what effect will you produce? If a man then listens like a stone, what advantage has the slanderer?

visualizing negative happenings decreases our fear of them and mentally prepares us to deal with the crisis when and if it ensues. But there is a flip side to visualizing the negative: we gain a renewed sense of gratitude and appreciation for all the times when bad things do not happen to us,

sometimes we are the worst obstacles to our own improvement: we see where we should go, which is where we want to go, and yet somehow we can’t pick ourselves up and begin the journey

I must die, must I? If at once, then I am dying: if soon, I dine now, as it is time for dinner, and afterwards when the time comes I will die.

knowing something does not change the nature of the thing of course—it just changes our attitude about it.

death itself is not under our control (it will happen one way or another), but how we think about death most definitely is under our control.

if there is one thing that philosophy ought to be good for, it is to make us better understand the human condition by showing us not only how to live to our best but to accept the fact that death is nothing to be afraid of.

what will make it possible for us to withstand harsh conditions and very difficult periods in our lives will be precisely that we always have an alternative course of action at our disposal.

if your decision was right, here we are at your side ready to help you to leave this life, but, if your decision was against reason, then change your mind.

Little is more pragmatic than learning to manage anger, anxiety, and loneliness, three major plagues of modern life.

it just isn’t worthwhile trying to beat a thief at the vigilance game.

we step back and analyze a situation more rationally, always keeping in mind the dichotomy of control between what is and is not in our power.

it is more helpful to think of people who do bad things as mistaken and therefore to be pitied and helped if possible, not condemned as evil.