The secret of managing is keeping the people who hate you away from the ones who haven’t made up their minds. Casey Stengel

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There are, however, other options. Managers who care about you as a person, and who actively work to help you grow in your career.

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Managers who want you to take their job someday.

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I encourage you to share the responsibility of having good 1-1s with your manager. Come with an agenda of things you would like to discuss.

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Good managers know that delivering feedback quickly is more valuable than waiting for a convenient time to say something.

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If you don’t ask your manager about a promotion, do not expect her to just give you one magically.

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stretching yourself is about more than just learning new technologies: great CTOs have strong communication skills, project management skills, and product sense, in addition to good technical sense.

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I encourage you to create and build a strong network of peers. One thing that early career engineers often don’t appreciate is how their current peers will turn into their future jobs.

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Your manager can point out opportunities for growth. She can show you projects. She can provide feedback on your areas of learning and development. But she cannot read your mind, and she cannot tell you what will make you happy.

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When you are persistently unhappy, say something. When you are stuck, ask for help. When you want a raise, ask for it. When you want a promotion, find out what you need to do to get it.

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Your manager cannot force work–life balance on you.

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If you want to go home, figure out how to get your work done and go home. Sometimes you will have to go against the cultural grain to set your own boundaries, and that will feel uncomfortable.

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Your relationship with your manager is like any other close interpersonal relationship. The only person you can change is yourself.

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your manager expects you to bring solutions, not problems.

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There’s a difference between a strong manager and a manager that you like as a friend, or even one you respect as an engineer.

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Even if you have absolutely no interest in management, it’s very difficult to build a career at any company with multiple teams without building a strong network of trusted people to share information and ideas with.

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conscious effort and practice in getting to know new people and helping them succeed will pay off.

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Adopt the mindset that network building is a worthwhile investment of your time and energy.

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Tell your mentee what you expect from him. If you want him to come prepared for your meetings with questions he has sent you in advance, ask for that. Be explicit about your time commitment. And then be honest with him when he asks questions.

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Whatever you do, don’t say yes and then fail to actually do the mentoring work.

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