Upstream

“Whenever I start to get aggravated about some inane problem, I think, ‘Hey, move your chair, why don’t you?’16 and it’s an internal code for trying a new approach,”

This lack of ownership is the second force that keeps us downstream.

The first force, problem blindness, means: I don’t see the problem. (Or, This problem is inevitable.) A lack of ownership, though, means that the parties who are capable of addressing a problem are saying, That’s not mine to fix.

The question they asked themselves was not: Can’t someone fix this problem? It was: Can we fix this problem?

They went from feeling like victims of the problem to feeling like co-owners of the solution.

What if you told the story of your relationship problems as if you were the only one responsible?

“I’d like each of you to tell the story of this situation as though you’re the only one in the world responsible for where we are.”

I choose to fix this problem, not because it’s demanded of me, but because I can, and because it’s worth fixing.

We don’t have the bandwidth to fix everything.

It’s a terrible trap: If you can’t systematically solve problems, it dooms you to stay in an endless cycle of reaction. Tunneling begets more tunneling.

Saving the day feels awfully good, and heroism is addictive.

The need for heroism is usually evidence of systems failure.

structured slack: A space that has been created to cultivate upstream work. It’s collaborative and it’s disciplined.

Focus is both an enemy and an ally. It can accelerate work and make it more efficient, but it puts blinders on people.

There are only two areas of concern that seem to reliably trigger our upstream instincts: our kids and our teeth.

It changes too slowly to spark urgency.

A deadline supplies artificial urgency to a task.

As the deadline looms, you eventually drop everything else and get it done.

we shouldn’t fight teenagers’ instinct to “get high.” Instead, we should give them safer ways to get high.

Teens don’t just need more activities of any kind, they need activities with natural highs: games, performances, workouts, exhibitions. Activities that compel them to take physical or emotional risks.